Cranberry juice never spills on linoleum.
A child only falls down and rips his pants when he’s dressed in his Sunday best.
Kids never spill anything on a dirty floor, but wait until it’s just been mopped, swept or vacuumed.
Children are never thirsty and don’t have to go to the bathroom until they’ve been tucked into bed.
Complaints about earaches can only be heard after the clock strikes 5 p.m. and the doctor’s office is closed.
Children will always remember to tell Mom they need a sack lunch for the field trip as the school bus approaches the house.
You will get the picture order form the morning pictures are scheduled to be taken—two weeks after the haircut should have happened.
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