Marriage
A woman married a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
Success
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Arguments
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Money
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
Eating Out
When the bill arrives, men will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
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